Final Destination Review Fail.

Man, this is what I'm talking about. Reviewers trying to be funny instead of just sticking to reviewing the movie.

So I see a review for Final Destination 5. Now let me preface this by saying, I know what the fuck The Final Destination series is all about. I'm under no illusions of what or what not it is.

I don't expect anyone to say anything about it being "cutting edge" or "breaking new ground" or whatever. It's the fifth installment of a horror series, at this point it's lucky to get a theatrical release.

That being said. I at least want an honest review. So I click on Julia Brown's review and man, I don't even get to the review before I want chuck a box set of the FD series at her smug picture.

You see this person tries to be funny. This Julia Brown writes "humorous" captions underneath all the photos from the film that are sprinkled throughout the review.

Unfortunately, THEY ARE FROM THE WRONG FUCKING MOVIE. In Julia's rush to get her review posted with snarky photo comments, she pulled photos from The Final Destination (the fourth movie) NOT FD5.

Captions such as "Is it just us or does every image from Final Destination 5 make it look like a cheap Michael Bay knock-off?" "Help! We're in Final Destination 5!" and '"Which way to the Transformers 3 set?" Nicholas d'Agosto and Jacqueline MacInnes Wood in Final Destination 5.' are posted with pictures, unless used in several flashback scenes, ARE CLEARLY FROM THE PREVIOUS MOVIE.

She even credits the actors incorrectly. No, that’s not Nicholas d'Agosto, that’s Bobby Campo. Did you or did you not see the movie?

This is what is wrong with some reviewers. Nowadays we are getting inundated with failed comedians who still think they are funny. Now, let’s take a step back, what if those WERE images from Final Destination 5...the captions still wouldn’t be fucking funny. But it would make this review look less of a joke.

So how was the actual review? Man, I don’t know. It’s hard to seriously take a movie review from someone who posts pictures from the wrong movie and credits the wrong actors.

Kill Your Cash! New Horror DVDs for 10.27.2009

A few titles I wanna add to my collection come out on DVD this week. I have not seen it yet, but a couple of people have been telling me about Orphan. So I think I’ll give it a shot. Night of the Creeps also hits DVD as well as Stan Helsing a fun movie which features the always stunning Diora Baird. I already took a look at the movie and a review will be posted in a bit.

For now, here are the new horror DVD releases for October 27th, 2009:

(Click on the pics to be taken to the Amazon purchase page)

Orphan (2009)

Night of the Creeps (1986)

Messiah of Evil: The Second Coming (1974)

Black Devil Doll (2009)

Blood Night: The Legend of Mary Hatchet

Stan Helsing (2009)

The Asphyx (1972)

Night of Death! (1980)

Jin Won Kim's The Butcher (2007)

Evil Face (1974)

Sauna (2008)

Breaking Nikki (2009)

Graveyard Disturbance (1987)

Born of Fire (1987)

Late Fee (2009)

I Bought a Vampire Motorcycle (1989)

X-Cross (2007)

Rotkäppchen: The Blood of Red Riding Hood

I Can See You (2008)

42nd Street Forever 5: Alamo Drafthouse Edition (2009)

--Monstar

HORROR ON Myspace

As I’m sure you know, EVERYONE has a Myspace profile…including this website. Actually the Myspace profile came first. I bough the domain name and wanted to launch this site for awhile but just starting my PR business took priority and this, as much as I love it, is a hobby. The Myspace page was easy to put together and start the ball rolling until I could actually find the time to start this blog.

…and here we are, http://www.myspace.com/horrorondvd

So, if you are on Myspace (and I know you are) hop over to my profile and send a friend add, or leave a comment!

--Monstar